Marriage is Spelled W-H-I-S-K-E-Y

A lot of things I heard about getting married did not excite me – dress shopping and 6 a.m. boot camp and seating charts. 

But one thing I didn’t know is how much whiskey people give you. If I had know that marriage = whiskey, I would have done it sooner and more often. 

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To the question of whether you can register for whiskey, the answer is yes. It also happens to be something that people can easily go off-register for with delicious results.

And it’s a wonderful, thoughtful gift: It is celebratory. It doubles as home décor. For people who live in a one-bedroom Brooklyn condo, it is consumed and does not need to be stored. It alleviates stress associated with wedding preparation … and from the resulting marriage. And it’s ok if someone else gave the same thing because one can never have too many.

I know some girls who visualized their dresses, flowers, and cakes before they were ever in relationships that were realistically heading toward marriage. They thumbed through bridal magazines and tried out writing their first name with the last name of their latest crush. That was not me. But had someone mentioned the whiskey part, I probably would have approached the idea of a wedding with much more enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, I waited until I found the right person, so it’s unlikely I will get married again anytime soon. Instead, I will do as everyone has suggested and enjoy this time. Which will be easy with so many options for how to enjoy it – bourbon, rye, Scotch, and Irish. A shelf full of whiskey and spending my life with someone I love? When you put it that way, I guess getting married does sound like something I would enjoy.